Cleaned by Masala

Its feels guilty to not have posted anything here even after a month of vacation. I am trying to stamp my feet too many things, hence this break. For this vacation, I have set up a mini-kitchen to serve my south grown taste buds with its native food.  Hence I went in search of  a south indian  grocery shop. I did this 10 days after I decided to do it. Unfortunately it was the weekly holiday for that shop. Hence I roamed around and found a south indian place to eat. The place was clean and neat and food was great. Happy ending!

I went again after 2 days to get the grocery and I stumbled on a south indian food joint next to the grocery store. The entrance was a fancy hoarding but the steps lead to a cramped place. I should have walked down by now after looking at the place. But the love for Masala dosa and to intention to save some cooking efforts for the night made me sit and order a “Mysore Masala Dosa”. Dosa didnt take me to mysore but I felt tired equivalent to what I would have felt if I have traveled to Mysore. As soon as I had my first bite I realized something is wrong with the Dosa. But the 75 bucks I paid for it and the once remote sermon “Do not  waste any food” took center stage and made me gulp it.

I should thank the time taken for our digestive system to attempt to digest the Masala dosa. I reached my place in that time lapse. I went to bed early in an attempt to get fresh for a new lease of south indian life from tomorrow. By now my system should have understood that digesting that massive stinken dosa load is not possible. It started giving me signals!  And then I was visiting the toilet for every 15 minutes the whole night. I got so tired of the routine , that I wrapped a towel and attempted to sleep . As the sun rose It appeared that the last pieces of  potato had either been sent this way or that way.

Thanks to that Masala cleansing. I felt a lot better the next day. We do clean our desk, tables and all other belongings. But do we take care to clean our hard working internal system. Nature has its own way to do it and this one was Masala induced cleaning.

Thank you “Triupathi Bhavan” You removed my guilt.

Know and extend your limits!

Anyone who walks in to the realm of calculus, would stop by and admire the beauty in limits.  Its where I discovered infinity and  infinitesimal. This post is about the limits we have in life and the possibility of extending it.

We are limited in our abilities, we have only 24 hours and five senses and plenty of wishes and thoughts to do. Human brain is a sequential machine, where you cannot even think of thinking two thoughts at once, but cannot think it in actual.  Your thoughts are precious and how often we waste that limited resource by thinking about something detrimental. If you count on the hours that you actually make it count in your own ways, how much is it out of 24?

Well my score was pathetically low, but for today it is very close to 24(extrapolating 20 to 24!). Let me record this beautiful day of mine which showed me how to extend the limits. Almost 24 hours ago a friend of mine woke me up from a slumber and shared lot of good things along with a story!I passed on that story and got lot more stories from people around.

If you are reading this and if you have been part of this day, you would know your part in this day! So I am not going to elaborate on those. Briefly I got to know that one of my friends was going places!, spoke with another who took a leadership challenge and we did a post-mortem analysis, connected with my mentor who in a way pushed my adrenalin, the ever greeky partial differential equation book was a page turner,met some interesting people in the campus whom I didnt cross paths in last 9 months, reconnected with a old friend from a distant land. The best of all was the video about “Joy” which I got from my senior friend.  Surprisingly a friend willingly volunteered for my evening walks which I usually do alone.When such people fill in my limited thought process, negative thoughts run out of space and just wait around in the corner.

You might think that I was always on phone/chat/cafe to be able to entertain these many people. But it was one of the most productive days. I filled up notebooks and wrote more code almost thrice of what I do in  a normal day. Just because my limits were extended. When I was almost ready to sleep,I stumbled on google science fair video and the recording of final event.

Google runs a global competition where students between 13-18 submit their ideas to change the world. The final 15 were taken to googleplex – the disney land of geeks and celebrated along with their inventions. It was a celebration of science and childhood! Two things which I strongly believe in, if one wants to have a better world, the way to it is to grow better kids. These kids were simply beyond their ages and the chief guests insisted on the importance of science and made it even more attractive. Unfortunately we have made it difficult to live inspite of the technology. One car is good but one million car results in traffic jam. They illustrated such points and emphasized the importance of using knowledge as a weapon which is the only way to help the world. Instead of saying “Conquer the world” it was a plea “to help the world”.

That made me unable to sleep for the night and continued on the hacking! Not just because I wanted to just  complete the project,but I felt I am capable and responsible to serve the world. When I don’t like a thing in the world, I think about it, and my helplessness about it and regret a lot. It was a limiting factor. Some how these kids and those wonderful people made me feel that when you become capable and responsible , you can change the thing you don’t want to think about. That is the way of knowing your limits and extending it.

Surround yourself with good people and hence good thoughts, feel the responsibility and the rest is going to follow….

Book: Killing time – Paul Feyerabend

Some times you strike gold at a random pick. After a heavy read I was looking for a lighter book(in terms of weight) and did spend about 15 minutes walking across the library to pick this. This title “Killing time” caught my attention, because its pretty much what we do in life. Its not a time management book but was surprised at the later part of the title which said “The autobiography of Paul Feyerabend”. Why would some one title their life in such a way! I didnt even bother who the guy was and what was he into, I checked out the book.

A little bit of googling increased my curiosity for he was some professor in various universities with uncanny behaviour. He has put up this recollection of his life in his death bed  and he didnt live to see to the book being published. Words from the people in deathbed, teaches you a lot about how to live your life.(Ex:Last lecture!)The book starts from his childhood (age 3) and travels chronologically. He starts by saying that he doesnt have a habit of keeping stuff and hence most of these thoughts are from memory.

Childhood: Born in Austria, he had strict parents who were also bit weird. The first few pages might be very difficult to digest !He was kept inside the home for most of his childhood and he was late to school.He also describes about the various books he read as a kid !”Between three and six I spent most of my time between kitchen and bedroom”.In school he excelled and his expertise outweighed that of his teachers.  Physics and maths seemed to be a natural instinct for him.We learn about his views on good and bad teachers. But when the world is in war, irrespective of your nature, you will be forced to involve in it.

Fighting for Hitler: “He was the only face among faceless men.” – We get to hear about Hitler occupied Austria and Hitler’s charm. Paul was some one who has an unquenchable thirst for knowledge and he would do anything to keep him in that pursuit.

“Because I want to  read without being disturbed” – that was the reason for all things during war.  He ends up being crippled in war and he desires to remain so, for its a more comfortable state for his pursuit rather than being a healthy man in the battle ground.

“One must learn to renounce simple pleasure and war is the greatest teacher“

Post war: Post war, after his own share of struggles he gets to the university to learn. We see him as a science student who is against philosophical discourses. Things take an interesting turn and we get to see how his thoughts evolve. He describes that his work was “unfinished ,tentative, without any overall purpose”.

“In a way I was waiting for my life to begin! -tomorrow, I thought , or next week or next year everything would fall in place. Meaning is something which doesnt guide your actions, but arises in the course of it.”

He keeps on going and suddenly we find these lines “My activities,interests , the things I wrote and attended begin to merge“. And from there events take  a different course and he is a established young man for the world. He could earn and do what he loves to do, but finds out that he couldnt make love as other animals do. But that doesnt deter him from having girl friends. We see many women of various shades come in and go out of his life.

From here we get to hear his views on academia and his work in the colleges in London, Bristol, Berkely,Yale and finally Zurich. In his later stages he could get tenure from any college he wished in the world.Starting from the sciences he gets to the philosophy of science and his work “Against method” breaks his life in ways beyond you could think of. There are lessons to be learnt here on how to treat yourself  different from your work.We get to learn highly evolved views on philosophy of science.

He as a loner all his life and enjoyed being so,placing high regards for intellectual pursuit. Towards the end of the life we see him as a sentimentalist and his love for the last woman in his life Gracia moves him  to a different perspective. He values love and years to live to just be around her. They even talk about having kids!

And the book ends with those lines

“That is what I would like to happen, not intellectual survival but the survival of love!“-

That is an hard rocky mountain which was moved. I would rate this book and life as one of the best I have come across. Inspite of a busy week, I kept clinging to this book in piecemeals and it was the fuel which drove me.  Even made me “Too excited to sleep” quoting in his style.  If you had liked what you have read, then find some ways to “Killing time”.

Dreams can come true when you chase them!

A year back I was just out of my job with a desire to master the basics of computer science and little maths. Some where deep in the heart I had this desire of working on brain science , through the gates of computer science.  You cant raise your standards in 2-3 months until you have sound basics.I had about 2-3 months to prepare for some of the best schools in the country.Even before I gave the exams I knew its hardly going to work and the fact that they had brain modelling as an elective made me apply for “Applied Mathematics” too in South asian university along with my preferred course Computer science.It was just a safe choice to do , when all other things didnt go my way that moment.

I wasnt good enough for the institutes I preferred and South Asian University being a new university, didnt have much competition and that was the primary reason why I got admits in both the courses Msc CS and Msc App Maths. Though I had some apprehensions , the idea of working with  one of the profs here sounded strong enough for me to not mind the Msc tag associated with the course. I was scared of Maths and felt lot of it in App Maths was unnecessary for CS and hence took Msc CS. To my shock, the prof whom I wanted to work with left the university the day I joined the place. I was determined and thought of staying here for two years and master the basics on my own which was my agenda. But the first few classes didnt work for me.It wasnt for my inquisitive brain which already had an engineering degree with 6 years of work ex. It was too primitive and going ahead would be colossal waste of time. I have tried for something which I wasnt capable of  and the audacious move backfired.Yet another failure and I was depressed and was planning a plan B. I had an admit in App Maths course too and thought of sitting through that class for few days before  discontinuing South Asian university !

We were the first batch in Maths and the faculties were just joining , so I adjusted my expectations to a lower scale. Further I didnt even know what the subjects “Analysis” and “Algebra” meant. I wrote “Numerical analysis” on the cover of the note book meant for “Real and complex Analysis” and when one of my friends corrected me, I stood stubborn arguing that “Real and complex numbers” are nothing but “Numbers” and hence Numerical analysis. That was the extent to which I knew Mathematics. I just wanted to excel in Probability and Statistics while wading through the other subjects. We had a great teacher for Analysis , through his wonderful expository teaching.,I started to get a feel of mathematics especially open sets and closed sets gave me the intuitive feel for limits,convergence and infinity.The philosopher in me had great food, but still I felt why should I read stuff on continuous domain like differential equations and was doing them as good as I did several courses in engineering.

By the end of first semester though I liked Maths, I was still sure that I am a CS guy who knew little more maths. Neuroscience was out of my reach and almost removed from my dreams for I knew I wasnt the one who could do strong theory. Second semester had an interesting array of subjects except partial differential equations in my naive view. Yes PDE was boring at class, but when I looked at the way it related with some physical concepts, I got hooked to it. But I kept my wanderings to a minimum and still wanted to focus on Statistical methods primarily. But by now I was beginning to fall for maths.I wanted to select an area where I could see the theory in action and hence went on with Image analysis.Met a prof here and through her got to know Digital image processing. It was almost a linear algebra text with some extra foot notes added. That how the book on image processing looked to me. Life has suddenly became very interesting!

This was the time when our department had a symposium planned on Mathematical modelling. I was thinking that I am rarely going to excel in Maths and didnt have much fuss about it. But the first talk was on “Stochastic Modelling on neurons”. I was trying to get an intro in to the topic and was reading a paper related to presentation. I was shocked, surprised and stumped to see that I was able to understand a theoretical neuroscience paper, it was just signal processing meets electronics meets maths meets CS. Even in terms of Maths, the abstraction I gained in other domains like probability  and analysis helped me understand this paper without even the necessity of giving a second glance.I was moved to  a state beyond description at that moment. Why should I have not even tried reading it before? Anyways I stopped reading and tried to start sleeping for it was already late and I would sleep through the morning if I didnt sleep by 2 AM then. But I couldnt get sleep! After trying hard  , I was able to sleep over my curiosity for just 2 hrs.

Woke up early and went through the essential basics and then it happened. I was able to follow Prof. Karmeshu’s keynote address on Neuroscience to an extent because of my readings. A dangerous feeling of “Its possible” stemmed inside my brain!And the lectures that followed were equally interesting, some of the best brains in the business of applied maths were here to entertain us. Not often in life you hear people say when I was in “MIT,stanford and oxford” and narrate wonderful tales for you. That three words and many more happened in the last two days. Their enthusiasm for their respective subjects was contagious and I was like a kid in candy shop wanting to take home everything from wave theory/particle physics to disease modelling. But I was  shown that differential equations are the center of mathematical modelling. I have been illustrated the beauty of this language called “Mathematics” through which we can understand the world. All those words about Maths from people who have seen it that way made sense and I am beginning to see it in a way they would have seen it. And as a coincidence and after effect we are having some interesting conversations within the campus with friend around. All of a sudden life in South Asian university has become too interesting!

I have decided to chase neuroscience with whatever efforts I can put in the coming year! Few months back I was glad that I have an hobby for life and could do it whenever I am bored in life – Maths. Now I am moving to a phase where I want to do Maths for life. Its uncertain whether I will pull this off but I was not certain of those dreams an year ago !  I did chase them, but they werent kind. I had patience,perseverance and did go on with what came my way. Randomness did play its part but so did I. Today I am here with a feeling that I am the right place at the right moment. It is just the same place but its me who got changed.

When many people questioned my move of  doing a lesser known course, I wasnt moved by their question . But some where inside a corner I had this fear of failure. What if it doesnt work? I didnt and dont yet have a concrete answer for what do you do after a course in maths. But today I would say that what not I can do with a course in Maths. For its the language in which universe was described. Right now it aids me in deconstructing world one piece at a time. I chased  a dream and it did come true! Last but not least I have no words to thank my wonderful teachers who have put together an intensive symposium on Mathematical modelling keeping in mind our needs by bringing in some of the best people in India. My life here can be divided in two periods. Before April 5 2013 and after April 6 2013.

Thanks to all the good hearts who help me evolve by sharing their experience in various forms. I am just a vector in a vector space formed with you guys as the basis ! Not to list names, but if you are reading this you would be knowing if you are the one being thanked – Thank you!

Lessons from life of pi

1” Thank you, Vishnu, for introducing me to Christ.“. An athiest father, pious mother , quarrelsome brother and PI thanking Vishnu for introducing Christ – An open minded environment in which pi grew up. Loved their discussions on dinner table.

2.. To get rid of Piscine name and establish Pi, the little boy tries out a few things which didnt work out, but when he goes on to fill the board with pi,folks are surprised and give in to him.

3. “”You think tiger is your friend, he is an animal, not a playmate”.At times its necessary to show our children the ugliness of real world, so that they aren’t bogged down when they discover it on their own. Ex: Illustration of the nature of tiger by feeding it.

4.”Hunger can change everything you thought you knew yourself!” – The strict vegetarian who refused to take meat yearns for the flesh of fish in the middle of the sea. Dont be fanatic over our principles, your faith in them will be shaken when your survival is threatened.

5.”We are going to sail like Columbus to Canada” – “But Columbus was looking for India!” ; Well said boy, All of us are drifting/sailing across in search of our own India, we may not end up there, but its sure that if we keep trying we will reach America’s. Even Pi ended up in Canada but after discovering his own America in the middle of the sea. Respect and cherish the Americas that reach us.

6.”Faith is a room with many doors” – “Room for doubts” – Oh plenty on every floor, doubts are useful for it tests and keeps the faith alive”. Well said, if you take this in, you will never ever ask your GOD – “Why me?”. But why is that GOD running exams after exams for his students?

7.” What do you see Richard Parker? Tell me what do you see.” — Pi tries to view life from others perspective. He understands the difference between the tiger on board and the danger of having it. Yet he appreciates the life of a tiger. He doesnt expect it to be kind as he is, but he serves the tiger within his limits constantly pushing the limits.

8.”The island was carnivorous.” – All of us take in something from the environment which we live in. Its unfair to bemoan when some one else takes from us. Its the rule of life on earth which should be accepted when you are here. If there were no challenges for life and if it happened to be a n all fair world, then we would be like those meow cats struggling to have our space(its slowly happening for humans!). Ecological balance and the rule of nature – Respect it.

9.”All of life is an act of letting go but what hurts the most is not taking a moment to say goodbye.” When the tiger goes out without even having a farewell sight ,its natural for the boy to cry. But that outburst is from the emotional baggage which we carry. Let go..Dont expect returns.

10. “Peerless movie experience- Go for it” – 90% of the time I go to the movies alone for my timing and choice remains so(Like watching life of pi 4 months after its release or on a Monday evening).When I go alone, I am not really alone, I get to observe a lot about people around me. When we have companion, we are obliged to hear his/her(just for gags) comments about the movie which you don’t want to hear. And also paradoxically when you have company you are separated  from the crowd and you are lost in yourself.So I purposefully avoid people when I set out roaming unless they share my interests.Its not about you folks, its just me.

It was a Monday turned in to Friday(Yes dined at TGIF!)

A tale of two sisters

They were setting up monster speakers and lighting up the trees for the last few days around my walking trail in Nehru Park. It was for a Jazz music festival(international) comprising of bands from over the globe(Poland,Switzerland,france,coloumbia,south africa…india!).My musical knowledge was tantamount to the mathematical knowledge of a biology student. A biology student doesnt know maths  by its technical details, but will be able to appreciate the effect of maths on it.

I was strolling for a long time and the band was about to begin in 30 mins time. So I decided to sit and wait to check out atleast the sounds and lights of those monster music. Since the event was international , it had international audience. That means kids around the globe playing around for us. I enjoyed that more than the music which came later. Now moving on to the story..

The elder one must be little over four with a thick glass and the younger one  must be two years younger but a lot cuter.It wasnt just her face which makes me tag her cute but because of the character she displayed. At the first instant she was your typical urchin,giving her mom a tough time. The sisters were blowing bubbles and was watching them burst(The rich keeps doing it from childhood it seems!)

For a onlooker at first sight, like me , it looked like the younger one was a rogue who went bursting all the larger bubbles from her elder sister. She did follow them inspite of the elder one crying “Dont burst my bubbles”. The elder one was so soft and principled, for she promptly reported each and every  bubble. So when I shifted my eyes towards them,I was naturally biased against the little devil.  She was always prodding her sister making fun for every two minutes. They would blow bubbles together and bicker over whose bubble was bigger. The little one used to pick the large ones and shout to the world that it was hers. That must have hurt the elder one’s ego a lot , hence she salvaged by her frequent reports to her mom who was sitting few steps back.

When she complained again to her mom “Mom she burst my bubble” her Mom kept watching them for a while and said “NO she didnt.” Yes I watched the little one again and she never did. All she did was to follow the bubble as long as she could by running along with it until it burst. She was doing it with all the energy she had and with a hope that the run didnt end. The elder one was the real cry baby and she was the actual culprit.She couldnt stand bigger bubbles from her sister’s pot. But the little one was lost in the bubbles immaterial of where it came from.  Once in every five minutes the little doll would run to her mom and give her a hug or something like that and come back. It looked to me that she took care of everyone’s entertainment in the family. She was very sharp, she pointed out to the sky and asked her mom what was causing the huge trail of smoke up in the sky! She was looking around and up ! Once while poking she happened to touch the specs of her sister and it must have hurt her a little. The elder one was quick to run to her mother crying and the mom was doing the regular checks for the glass and her eyes. It was that caring and concerned look on the little one while at that time,which stole my heart. She was truly concerned.

And she was very quick to shift gears and enjoy an array of emotion within a short time. And there were bunch of other kids too playing around. But these two sisters were my protagonists for the day. My mom used to be proud that her boys never bickered , but looking at this cute fights, I wish we had quarreled. Those little teachers will never know that they had a grown up student watching them!

Kadal.. – Environmental awareness!

Spoiler:This review works if you have already watched the movie.If you havent and if you dont care to watch this movie spare a minute to read this without fail.

Kadal for me is a tale of the fragility of the trait ‘character’ in each of us.  If you have watched departed you would remember the mafia leader saying “I dont want to be a product of the environment, but rather want the environment to be product of mine”. That works for few extra-ordinary people. But what about those who are normal and abnormal in the other extreme? This movie portrays two such abnormal orphaned lives from birth to their unison.

Having been orphaned in his childhood, Thomas(Gautam Karthik) lives on the shores(hence Kadal:!) with the patronage of  local Church’s father.He is a ruffian with all those average traits of a boy in fishing hamlet.He  is hard to convince by philosophic discourses, but he is highly volatile to emotional stirs. I see that as a reason for him to be influenced equally by the good (Arvindswamy) and the evil (Arjun).

The other orphaned girl Beatrice(Thulasi )grows up in a missionary and hence is an embodiment of kindness. We were told to imagine that her emotional part of her brain had refused to grow from her childhood, while being a genius medico! While its perfectly reasonable to argue the logic behind it ,the sensitive me saw that as  a model of an uncorrupted soul. She moves from an incident to another with ease without the emotional baggage of the past until she gets to meet her dad.

These two characters are made to meet and fall in love abiding the rules of the cinema.What impressed me was that the movie was not about these two. But about the goodness and evilness in them. We were introduced to goodness and evil in separate forms much earlier in Arvind swamy and Arjun.One could get an illusion that the plot is about the tussle between the Good Arvind and bad Arjun and end up questioning the strength behind it. But if you view it as a tussle between the goodness and evil within Gautam Karthik, then Arjun and Arvind’s characters serve as tools to portray it.

In the absence of Arvind the gullible Gautam believes in the ways of Arjun and goes by it. Even murdering his probable dad doesn’t move him much. And when ArvindSwamy returns , Gautam has walked too far in his chosen path to be influenced. It takes that inexplicable lady love to remind him of any reasons left to be normal. It takes an act of birth to remind him the value of lives which he takes off from others with ease.

Now lets see a bit of what didn’t work for me in the movie. Gautam’s  strain in dialogue delivery spoils his portrayal many at times.We get introduced to  Thulasi only near the interval and it takes sometime for the character to set establish it’s nature in the scheme of things. Certain songs like magudi didnt fit in to the movie and they could have done without it.I didn’t like the way the movie was forcibly made to take an end in which all goes well with much ease.

I guess the movie didnt work for many because they were concerned about what was happening on the screen. If you follow the transitions of the little boy(Gautam) and ponder over why the heck such things happen to him, then you will be reminded of the ‘fragile’ nature of character in each one of us.Thats why it worked for me.

Thats the end and now you are free to critic the movie and the review down here!

PS:  I was heavily biased against this movie by my friends & media . There is a chance that those -ve expectations” made this actually ‘bad’ movie look normal.I dont know a way to examine whether I would have said the same about the movie if I hadnt known it was by Mani Ratnam. Let me say that I didnt like even a bit of Ravanan.

And I am a strong *** fan of Kamalhassan. Inspite of the positive remarks from everyone I didn’t like his so called magnum opus. May be there is a chance that the +ve expectations made a good movie look normal.

If the footnootes were true, then as my friend said,we have here a formula to enjoy even bad movies and kill your time.

Nee thane en ponvasantham !

Well if you know me , you will probably be aware that I am a big GVM fan. But I didnt like this movie right from when I saw the trailer.It looked like a stupid and usual love story. And when they said its going to be Raja’s musical, I did expect mellifluous melodies which wasnt there and moreover was expecting mind arresting , soul drenching bgm which turned out quite the opposite.

Inspite of all such things, I knew that I wouldnt regret watching this movie and was the first to book the tickets in Delhi for the first days show[Didnt I say FAN?!]. To my disappointment they cancelled that show citing logistics. Having no better thing to do in a holiday I followed the views and reviews from press and people for one full day. And most of them complained that it was a lame and patience testing movie citing various reasons. That should tell us that the movie didnt fullfill the expectations we had! I was heavily biased against the movie and the story in particular. And watching it the next day much of what they said turned out to be true. Too many songs, visuals aren’t great for a GVM movie , a similar/same story as VTV and very talkative!  That’s what the man in the street(met him in the internet lane ) would say. Yep it was true but the movie worked for me. I didnt regret watching it and  I was happy that I didn’t want to watch it again.

But looking back at the songs now, I feel this is a movie to have in collection! This is no analysis of the movie and I don’t claim it to be a great/classic movie. But let me tell you what appealed to me. SUBTLENESS! Oh lengthy and tiring dialogues and you call them subtle? The dialogues weren’t dramatic as it was in VTV or other movies, but very realistic. Its very much like how we would argue with your closed ones (friend included?!) in real life. Well there were cinematic elements in the story but the narration was closer to reality.

When it was advertised that “It could be your love story!” everyone had a colorful fantasy in mind. There was some one tweeting “Dear Gautam My love story couldnt be as lame as this one!” Yes we all wish for it but in reality it’s lame[Observation and a subjective opinion. If you disagree citing your personal experience I am happy for you]. In today’s world we are pressed with conflicting needs and maintaining a romantic relationship from school days will require loads of effort and tiring. And thats what happens on screen in this movie! Lovely warning:)!

When the movie was out, most of the people I knew were bad mouthing it, even without watching it. They were genuinely propagating messages which they have received from others. And not just in for movies, even for other issues in life we fail to see our reaction to it and get to act the way the majority acts. In doing so, we fail to realize our relation to the issue and risk being blind and deaf by not using our eyes and ears. The movie was just an analogy, but here I am refering to a much stronger and despicable event which occurred recently. 

See for yourself and look what you can do with it rather than borrowing ideas and distributing responsibilities.

The battle on the bed!

It tough to think when a part of you thinks ahead and thinks something convincing against what you think. I am pointing about the battle between part of you  thinking of “waking up” and the other part in  you which gives reasons against waking. Often these reasons are convincing enough to put the former part to rest before the alarm snoozes again. In my many experiences, those convincing reasons were revealed to be stupid as soon as I get over them and the hazy sleep.

The insight here is that the logical part of Me is completely put to sleep while I am sleeping and hence it just needs a reason which I assume to be convincing enough even if its devoid of logic. Therefore unless I have strong emotional reasons to sacrifice my ego in that virtual battle, I am going to be in slumber for a long time until the other part which wants me to sleep goes to sleep and helps me wake up on my own.

 

I have been loosing this battle for a long time and my current wake up time hovers around 8:30 AM and it should be 6:00 AM for a normal life in my life! A lot can be said about your life on how you wake up everyday! The first thought which comes to your mind on getting up reveals more about your tone of the day! And remember its that first thought which gets you out of the sleep and there is no way for you to fix that thought. Its an automated thought which is a function of your past life and your sleep!. If you have a strong first thought, then its easy to beat the other part of you , who wants you to be in slumber!

On sleep and wakeup();

There were nights where I felt which was longer than nile when I couldn’t get in to that unconscious state called sleep even hours after attempting to enter. There were also nights where I entered the world of dreams without losing any time. There were nights when I lay down consciously dreaming about the beautiful life I live, and lost in to sleep without knowing when I got drifted. There were nights where I wasnt aware that its dawn already because I was in to something which removed my thoughts from everything else.

There are mornings where I kick out like a kid with the rising sun, just moments before it with a smile and scream “I beat you dear sun” and say cheers to you with a walk and coffee! There were mornings when I knew what to do after being up even hours before the sun.There were mornings when I was hours before the sun and dont know what to do. There were mornings where the sun woke me up through its shines. There were mornings where I woke up only when the fan gets turned off by power cuts. There were mornings which I wanted to pretend as nights by shutting the windows and getting buried in the blanket. There were mornings which I cursed the sun for coming sooner and resisting to open the eye! There were mornings where I saw the sun only after it was noon!

And various combinations of such mornings and nights makes my days. And I know how good my day is by just looking at how good these mornings and nights are! No one knows for sure what happens when we sleep but this beginning and ending of sleep and everything in between reflects your stature and poise as a person! Its a feedback mechanism by which you can learn on how good you are  at living life.

I see dogs which can sleep in peace on a platform and I have been that poor dog who couldnt sleep well even on a luxurious room in a hotel. All I wish in life is a good sleep! I will take whatever measures it demands and pay whatever it costs! “Buy the best bed you could afford”!