When home changes!

Home is not just another noun, its a verb, actually an emotion for we see “I feel at home” when we are comfortable. At home you can be yourself, without having to care about what others think, because either no one observes, or the ones who do already know all that’s to be known. You can go blindfolded and reach that last piece of chocolate in fridge or walk to the loo in the dark by just feeling the space. If you are someone who cooks, you know where to reach out for the myriad spices we use in south indian food. In short, you are totally in control that you dont worry about letting yourself lose. Less cognitive load!

And I recently changed homes – moving from a smaller one to a bigger better space should make one happy! I was trying to be – but it wasn’t all merry. I didn’t feel at home at home. It not nostalgia, that I was suffering from but from lack of familiarity. My forgetful nature only added weight to the treasure hunt woes. I had to search many rooms to locate any object since my mind hasn’t indexed. I had to plan my trip from parking lot to the entrance . Every action was incurred more effort, I was thinking my brain isnt working for the usual thoughts weren’t flowing. But I realised the brain is actually over worked on the trivial things like finding the salt jar, getting confused on directions.

In a span of week, I could feel the difference. My brain cares less about being lost in parking lot, can listen to podcasts while cooking because it has indexed the jars…. A lot of brain power is now released from having to deal with these trivial everyday issues. It’s just not about the physical space, its also about the inhabitants in it. When one switches teams, one becomes very conscious about every word that goes out as well as every move that we make. It actually restricts us from being the best! Once we learn about each other, we calibrate our scales and care less atleast about some things. We will have to , otherwise our brains will have to work overtime all the time.

The extreme case is moving to a home with new people or even living again with someone after a big time gap. Home is a place where you can be yourself! But also when you share it with someone, its an opportunity to pick some traits from other person. Either you become the union of the better part of each or the other way – choice is yours! When people get together for the first time, they are extremely watchful on what reactions they get for their actions and calibrate their behaviour accordingly. This happens in any relationships – work/friendships/couples…! Here is a golden window of opportunity that we have as a team player to bring out the best in every individual and make a good team. Over a period , one gets to a state where we needn’t think about it,that’s when you say you feel at home. What kind of home it is , is defined by what happens during that golden window.

Learning to live is a skill and we relearn it when we have a new home. But this applies to other learnings too. If you can observe how you absorb, you not only can do it rapidly but also make sure you absorb what you like to have. It’s uncomfortable to change, but if one can go it over and over, uncomfortable won’t be just pain but a part of the pursuit. Feeling at home , in doing something can lead to flow- a state where you exist for the deed you do and not for your self.

The more places/skills you can feel at home – richer is the life.It’s a crime to be stuck on the comfort zone that’s current home. The world is wide and has variety.In a finite time we have infinite possibilities. Move, it will be uncomfortable, but when you feel at home,its an indication of your mind’s mastery over something new. What better way to inflate your ego!