Two less slept nights and one more to come. Got to be awake for an conference call with people on the other side of the globe and I have already exhausted all possible reasons to evade it in previous weeks. Generally I reach home around 7:30 PM and spend it with the system on my lap followed by a dinner and sleep. Thought of walking out a bit because it has always been the way I have charged myself. Indeed I considered blogging for refreshing before the walk but I knew thoughts couldnt be made in to words then.
Took a stroll down the road observing the people around the fountain. Crossed the roads and enjoyed the glimpse of people waiting to go home stopped by the signal. Then comes the park where we have tennis and soccer courts. When oscillating whether to get in or not, two sight of two little kids drew me in. The boy was rolling the ball with his dad who was on a call and his sister was busy testing the technical strength of the sand. I couldnt take my eyes away and my pupils were autofoccused on the trio as long as they fell in my sight. Little did I knew I fell in the visible range of the family – Yep the lady of the family was watching it seated at a distance in a chair. I saw happiness in those eyes. We didnt speak a word but I knew she understood what I admired and she acknowledged it. Went down to the tennis fields where I spotted some cute girls.
There was a match on in the soccer field and as a result there were lot of kids! Went down and watched the kids instead of the match. All of them were super cute. One little angel stole my heart and all those kids were in to something on their own. By now I was in the programming mode, flashing in the kind of thoughts I wanted to in my brain. Though physically tired I felt mentally fresh. Only then I realized that I was denying myself the most important routines in th boot up. As a result of which several of my special function modules werent configured and I couldnt get in to the ‘peerless’ mode.I decided that I should advance my wake up time and make time for my walk.
Here I am after the ‘talk-walk’ with myself. The power of human brain is mysterious- I had a desire to get up at five thirty and it was so strong deep inside and turned out to be determination. When I woke up and watched the watch it was exactly five thirty. Waking up at the exact time you wanted to be up is the best way to overcome the wake up dilemma. A little later or little earlier my mind either has complacence or regrets which drives me back to bed.
Now I had done it, I can post it with little pride. Self esteem goes up when you walk with your thoughts and look at yourself in a distant time with much higher wisdom. During such talks with the mind, one plots his desires against the proceedings of the day. If the proceedings are creeping towards the desire the graph has a positive slope and it reflects in the emotional state of the being. But the challenge is when the slope is negative. At such unfavorable situation analysis without ‘XXXXX’ quality will increase the declivity in the slope and bring on depression. But with ‘XXXX’ quality you can have the power to be resilient and change the course of the sliding line towards desire in matter of time through your actions. I didnt figure out what is that ‘XXXX’ since I am yet to attain it with consistence. We can call it as experience , but there is always a question of how much of it unanswered.
Looking back I have been doing this – ‘Walk Talks’ for about 8 years in my life with conscience. What started as tryst to quench the coffee thirst, turned out to be an habit.It takes years to earn a good habit but only days to get rid of it. Yes true to that line I skipped my morning walks here after trying it out for 2-3 days in want to time and rest. I never resumed it since I was facing a time crunch. I wanted all my time to be alloted to that activity which can take me to the peak. But after a month inspite of having all my time I couldnt even get any where near to the base of the peak I wanted to be. Casually when I had this walk yesterday evening I realised I am failing to make conversation with the most important person thats me. Today I have restarted it! My mind is open and willing to learn all that comes my way! And I see only possibilities ..there are many before my eyes..All those are eggs..Let them hatch it one by one.
Externally the situation was the same few weeks ago, but my mind could see only omellettes then but now i see chickens..Instead of counting them let me hatch them.