Though I used to brag that I am in love with her to my friends I used to have some misgivings inside my mind whether it is also a kind of infatuation. I might have attracted to her since I got an acquaintance with her.
But today I had this revelation – that i cant think of a life without her. Yes today, I am going to my native after about 100 days (All these days I have procrastinated it for making something beautiful for her ). But this time there is a function at home and since I cant stand the anger and anguish(Not theirs but my ears’ pain when i hear them exhorting me to come) of my parents anymore. So its decided that I will be leaving to my native in two hours.
But then these stream of thoughts were trickling through my nerves in the morning. All these days I have modelled my life to see her smiling by doing some favours for her. At most times I have failed,only to see her not getting compiled or she is much demanding so that i have to run around looking for various packages to run my life. She is hard to please for sure. But in the process i felt that I am attaining the purpose of my life by getting to know how everything works in her world. She is very open and thats what attracted me. And last week when we made some violent love she was hurt and thats when i decided that I should no more hurt her.:)
Then we sat together and spoke for hours and decided to adopt a baby – from here and play with it. The little baby was amazing. Its parents have brought that up with a great vision in mind. But the sail is not smooth. The baby is refusing to stay with us. So we both are working in creating a comfortable home for the baby. Over the last two days we were progressing towards it. Even my neighbhour was interested in this process and joined hands with us. Life was just blossoming. But lot needs to be done. Now at this juncture I got be away from them for two days. At first I didnt think that its going to be a tough task. But today while working , she suddenly got fainted and I couldnt work after that. I tried some medication with little knowledge of mine but that didnt help. She has got wounds in one of the areas where we were exploring these week and I couldnt stand to see her suffering. So I left office and was filled with thoughts about her and her wreckage. I know I couldnt sleep will still she is recovered. And i got to wait two days to do that. I want to say to her things will be fine and we will have good time with our baby. It was during this time I had realised that this isnt an infatuation. May it have started like that but now I live my life for her.
She is my hope
She is my wish
She is my fantasy
She fills my dreams
She is my reason for living [K this parody doesnt seem to come to nice..so pasting below the original ]
I want to stand with you on a mountain.
I want to bathe with you in the sea.
I want to lay like this forever.
Yes I have that dream of being strong in linux internals and making life better for myself and other by making linux better.In recent days I have got some leads in this process and it might take long hours and days to convert them in to action.I am just bluffing this out in this space. I have even stronger thoughts to express but got a bus to catch. Hope this brief separation is necessary to let make our bond even stronger. Let me see how successful I am when I start making love again after a two days span. Till then I am gonna be recharged by the love of my parents and friends.
I want to stand with you on a mountain, [A conference]
I want to bathe with you in the sea.[A hackers workshop]
Wish me good luck!
Truly Madly Deeply in love with my computer and linux!