2007 didnt end quite in a good note for me,it laid me a double flow hours before it wrapped up.One in GRE,I had premonitions of it two three days before it occured,but didnt expect the dip to a all time low….420 ooops I couldnt even accepted that against my name for this bloody exam without preparation. Although not to perfection I have put in 10 months and more than 500 hours for sure and this mark is no indicator of it.
I dont care for the marks and thats what cost me..In the last few days before the D-day I overtried things (oops! Someone has done it earlier…I did even get a warning from my friend ..). By Friday I knew that I am not going fair adieu to this exam by Monday and that very thought shows how I was down in confidence. I was getting these exam qualms after a very long time….even it might trace back to ten years…I dont remember me worrying about any of the exams after my first unit tests in 12th standard (First lesson -Physics…diffraction..and stuffs like that….Baskran sir…any aktian who reads this should stand up and pay respect for him….).
I didnt get sleep still two on the night before exam;neither i was in mood to get to the books.I was dumbfound(At times like this I feel that I havent been a good human..) I dont want much of that poor day to get in to my annals. But one thing i could say dont let your confidence drift apart for its not facile. It ended up 420/780(770)). I was totally nonchalant to the test during the test after that third question. I have made up my mind to have the battle again even before it ended (Wicked guy!).
I will come up with my mistakes in GRE in a later post.(This post isnt quite rosy to speak on that ….) .I could even accept this blow and i couldnt afford to live with the second one.In a way thats the reason for this one. I was down in confidence and it seemed to me that i didnt have a concrete purpose in life. It seemed as if I had burried all my dreams and they were too remote and out of my reach.Most of the search in my life seems to be abstract and a tough call.
It took me a week to recover and here I am blogging after about a months respite (I am glad there is atleast one guy to note this….) As I say always this blogging is in direct relationship with one mental state. Fingers go out of control when you start to soliloquize and root some deep refreshing thoughts in to my mind. The second blow was very evident in a fact that i am not getting off my bed till 7…some times its 8(OOPPS Its something i cant afford to loose…..)
And the fact today I won the battle and had a nice read of “Butterflies and barbed wires” must be an innuendo that I am back to my ways. I would just like to format the dusk of 2007 and dawn of 2008. Good Bye 2007!
In 2008 i am planning to do some of the tasks which i have planned to do a year ago 🙂